Tattered Gray Shadows

memories of all the good times

fewer stories, oft-repeated

the tie that binds when the cord is cut

obscene tirades not remembered

the great old oak that roots the clan

at last upturned with roots exposed

one who has known you for all of your days

more demanding than your child

that person once so very active

that man now lying in his own wastes

keeper of what they used to say

simply entranced by TV games

happy model for our golden years

unlikely plans for resuming life

one who helped you when you were helpless

you cannot really help her now

he who, smiling, made it look so easy

now you find you have no answers

lives of dignity and quiet virtue

ignored by strangers at their day jobs

strong men who fought in the greatest war

gray shadow struggling to sit up for dinner

enjoying a life of wise contemplation

lying awake in a confusing silence

doing things there was never time for

squirming over bedpans and suffering from bedsores

spending time with the grand kids

frightened children at a stranger’s bedside

passing on rich memories and great lessons

mementos committed to the dumpster

secure enough after a life spent saving

nest egg plundered by corporate health care

skills for living honed and sharpened

quiet desperation among real strangers

committed forever to a soul partner

left alone to sort out the tatters

enjoying a healthy, active lifestyle

watching their bags fill through tubes

making plans and talking trips

but riding everywhere on their backs

watching fat and getting fiber

eating dog food to stay on budget

seeing the grand children growing up

mistaking your daughter as her child

wisely tending to the household

being fleeced by thieves and cons

passing away with quiet dignity

bilked one last time by the funeral ‘industry’

Growing Younger Every Day

To preserve the loveliness of your once-bonnie brown hair

          you dyed it a color that nature never knew

To restore your lovely figure

          you spent thousands on surgery that quickly proved worthless

To combat the wrinkles, without success

          you smeared on expensive creams and got botoxed as well

To renew the vigor you only imagined you once knew

          you swallowed many costly, yet unproven supplements

To mitigate your unwanted increase in maturity

          you piled on the large and expensive gold jewelry

To remain attractive and appealing within the confines of your mind

          you financed new, fancier cars as often as possible

To try and become sleek and fit and to lose the guilt from your awful diet

      You drove twice a week to spend 20 minutes watching TV strolling on a treadmill

To weigh little more than you did as a teen seemed like a great triumph

          Ignoring the fact that wrinkled fat is far bulkier than lean muscle

To combat your ever-lightening skin

          you sought out the sun and attained that leathery, reptilian look

To watch your weight and retain your appeal

          you exposed every bone in your anorexic face

To compensate for the diets which quite utterly failed

          your forced your hair to grow bigger, stiffened up with industrial gel

To keep pace with your rapidly fading sense of smell

          you sprayed on ever more sickeningly sweet but costly perfume

To realize the full creative human potential locked there within you

          you took a six week self-renewal course and went on a few horseback rides

To renew your attractiveness after being dumped and rejected

          you joined a gym and lost 10 pounds til you found another chump

To try and hide the wrinkles, the sags and your bags

          you troweled on many coats of concrete-like beauty plaster

To keep from having to face the void that so clearly beckoned

          you learned to cope by blankly flipping channels

To have it all you burned both ends as you stewed in the middle

          your were worn out too soon and then dried up way too fast

In A Heartbeat, If I Could Just...

Someday I’m going to really live like that music sometimes makes me feel

After a couple years I won’t have to listen to their whiny bullshit anymore

Pretty soon I won’t have to see any of these clowns here again

Just a little while and I’ll be out of here for good

Before you know it, I’ll have all the time in the world

In a heartbeat I would blow this pop stand off, for once and for all

Someday I’ll stay at that place I still remember from in my rear-view mirror

After a couple years every day will be just like Saturday for you and me

Pretty soon I’m gonna drive off in a big old brand new pickup truck

Just a little while and we’ll be doing all the stuff like they do in the movies

Before you know it we’ll beat these old timesheets into funny postcards

In a heartbeat I could pack it in for them parts still unknown

Someday I will take the time to stay a few more days

After a couple years we’ll be off somewhere chasing red Indian sunsets

Pretty soon we can sell this tired old house and retire in real style

Just a little while and we’ll make it to the top of the hill

Before you know it we’ll spend the entire autumn simply watching changing leaves

In a heartbeat, if I could just pay off a few more of these crazy healthcare debts

Someday we won’t just be acting, like we do now, every weekend

After a couple years they’ll see that I really wasn’t just like them

Pretty soon I won’t be all pissed off just because it’s Monday

Just a little while longer and I’m going to walk away from it all

Before you know it we’ll be relaxing together on some white and sandy beach

In a heartbeat I would tell them all to take a hike and ride on out

Someday I’ll have the time to read that stuff I keep on blowing off

After a couple years we won’t even bother to watch TV every single night

Pretty soon we’ll be staying home to avoid the weekend crowds

Just a little while and, Hey listen, I swear, we won’t be too old to enjoy it

Before you know it my dumbass boss will be a just a funny memory

In a heartbeat if only the cars and house didn’t cost so much, each & every month

Someday we’ll sip margaritas every afternoon in the shade of a nice palapa

After a couple years we’ll go on that trek up and through the Nepal Himalaya

Pretty soon the kids will be gone and we can start to travel

Just a little while and I’ll retire and write down the wisdom I distilled from all this bullshit

Before you know it we’ll spend nights in the smoke of the magic campfire

In a heartbeat I could give it up and sell hot dogs at the beach

Someday we’ll blow off health insurance even though we’re a little fat

After a couple years, if things get better, we should be able to retire

Pretty soon your flawed project’s artificial deadline won’t mean Jack to me

Just a little while and me and the Marlboro Man will be out riding on the range

Before you know it I’ll be on to more important things than this

In a heartbeat if I could just hit it right on a couple of quick day trades

Someday soon I’ll chuck all this shit and go off to work for myself

After a couple years it looks like the end should be coming into sight

Pretty soon I won’t find that I’m mad about something stupid all the time

Just a little while longer and there won’t be any more of that boring housework

Before you know it we’ll just be in them commuter’s way as we take off on our next vacation

In a heartbeat I’d walk away from all my MP3s and the big-screen TV

Someday soon I’ll get a break and we’ll roll in style on out to Vegas

After only a couple years I should begin to see a little daylight

Pretty soon all my money won’t be going up in smoke and interest charges

Just a little while and my fat pension might actually kick in

Before you know it we’ll quit working and stop getting any older

In a heartbeat I’d blow off this mess and go away to live like Jesus

Someday we won’t just have to worry about money all the time

After only a couple more years our time is going to come at last

Pretty soon I won’t have to listen all day long to morons on the phone

Just a little while til we ride away in our brand new RV for good

Before you know it we’ll hear the ocean from our hammocks every night

In a heartbeat if we could just find a way to get past this and that

Someday I won’t just be trying to get through another week once again

After a couple years I’m thinking we won’t spend so much time at the malls

Pretty soon now we won’t be so damn tired we cannot see by Wednesday night

Just a little while before we can start to live for whatever things might still really matter

Before you know it, we can start to spend all this time that we’ve been saving every day

In a heartbeat I’d tear up my damn credit cards and burn down the house

Someday we’ll have lots of money and we won’t have to work anymore

After a couple more years we’ll have a little time just to set and think things over

Pretty soon we’ll pack up our reading glasses, prescription drugs and go

Just a little while and we will stand aside and laugh at all the rodents

Before you know it, why, we’ll have time to just wait until the light is right for the picture

In a heartbeat but I got this deadline and we just re-financed the house for Jason’s college

Faux-Golden Years

For now I am ready to retire and become that cute and cuddly grandpa

But my prostate has swelt up like an orange and I need that quintuple bypass

I wish to take my time now and to stop and smell those lovely roses

Yet I am 30 pounds overweight and my blood pressure is way too goddamn high

I look forward to the things I worked so much for all those long, hard years

But I have lost my hair and my back just plain hurts me every day and all the time

I plan to see all those places I have only dreamed of during all my work-filled life

However, I cannot walk, even quite slowly, without wheezing and turning red

I want to take some time to sort things out and make a bit of sense of it all

But my memory fails rapidly and I find simple explanations really are the best

I look forward to great adventures in the freedom of the open road

I poke along in my bloated RV between those safe, costly and sterile campgrounds

I finally get to spend some time with my family and my grandchildren

Turns out I don’t really care for them and they don’t have much time for me

I am excited to make new friends and live a rich and rewarding social life

I wear little diapers because I leak a bit after each of my 15 daily pees

I want to travel lightly, looking for excitement, like I did so long ago

I go nowhere without several pairs of glasses and all of my prescription meds

I collect my thoughts and refine my experiences into a unique vision of my own

I am viewed as a simple dodderer, quite inconsequential and totally irrelevant

I will finally spend some time communing with nature and learning of myself

Hopefully, my hearing aid does not feedback too loudly or have its battery go dead

I plan to hike to the many places I have noticed driving by, where people never go

My cardio and knees are simply gone and I tire quickly in the grocery store

I will hit the hot spots and go to all the famous beaches

Laws may have to be passed to keep my ugly body safely hidden from public view

I hope to gain a new perspective regarding our lives and our times

The world moves so fast around me I just want to keep out of its way

I will stand up for my rights with the others of my storied generation

I mean to attend those creepy Day of the Living Dead demonstrations

I can spend my time helping teach the children to know right from wrong

I am just another body to be looked after, according to their teachers

I try blending in, but my wrinkles and my thin white hair set me far apart

People blow right by me though I walk just as fast as I deem it sensible

I can easily fall asleep by friends and family with my mouth lolling open

If I have a good bowel movement I judge the day to have been a pretty good success

My thin and shiny skin has large dark blotches in among the spreading wrinkles

My yellow toenails get cut twice a year whether I can see them or not

I love getting out of doors and riding in a golf cart while smoking a cigar

I prefer eating dinner at 4 pm to avoid any indigestion when I try to sleep at 9

I talk to people I haven’t seen for years but they look at me quite strangely

Each new diagnosis yields a flood of flattering attention that brings meaning to my life