Tattered Gray Shadows

memories of all the good times

fewer stories, oft-repeated

the tie that binds when the cord is cut

obscene tirades not remembered

the great old oak that roots the clan

at last upturned with roots exposed

one who has known you for all of your days

more demanding than your child

that person once so very active

that man now lying in his own wastes

keeper of what they used to say

simply entranced by TV games

happy model for our golden years

unlikely plans for resuming life

one who helped you when you were helpless

you cannot really help her now

he who, smiling, made it look so easy

now you find you have no answers

lives of dignity and quiet virtue

ignored by strangers at their day jobs

strong men who fought in the greatest war

gray shadow struggling to sit up for dinner

enjoying a life of wise contemplation

lying awake in a confusing silence

doing things there was never time for

squirming over bedpans and suffering from bedsores

spending time with the grand kids

frightened children at a stranger’s bedside

passing on rich memories and great lessons

mementos committed to the dumpster

secure enough after a life spent saving

nest egg plundered by corporate health care

skills for living honed and sharpened

quiet desperation among real strangers

committed forever to a soul partner

left alone to sort out the tatters

enjoying a healthy, active lifestyle

watching their bags fill through tubes

making plans and talking trips

but riding everywhere on their backs

watching fat and getting fiber

eating dog food to stay on budget

seeing the grand children growing up

mistaking your daughter as her child

wisely tending to the household

being fleeced by thieves and cons

passing away with quiet dignity

bilked one last time by the funeral ‘industry’

Exceptionist Just Desserts

You drove in air-conditioned comfort on even the shortest of unnecessary errands

The toilet in your tiny nursing home room has become an impossible destination

You lamented that the big box chinese stores were all so far away

Now you are so lucky with a super WalMart right next to your house

You ate as much as you wanted of all the wrong foods for too many years

Finished that up without any insurance for your multiple medical conditions

The brave accomplished your mission and you had a great photo op

But the media conspirators followed that up with cruel ongoing coverage of the thousands of dead

It was so hard back then without any fast food drive-thru places

Now I can grab a quik lunch to eat in the car on my way to my next showing

You re-financed and took equity for great vacations on your credit card

Your house is worth less than you owe but your payments keep going up

You kept rolling newer cars into more expensive leases just to drive to work

Laid off and unemployable it’s funny how you can’t even sell that POS

You often wondered why your mother was bitter and angry on your visits

Now you sit in a drugged silence between institutional meals with soap operas droning

You kept your waterfront lawn green with fertilizers and pesticides

You were outraged as the fish all died when the poisoned water turned into algae soup

You put your complete faith and trust in private dialog with your personal savior

You thought you ascended safely to heaven, never glimpsing the empty truth

You spent hundreds monthly on creams, supplements and rejuvenators

Fashionistas take your foolish measure with half a glance then simply ignore you

You always carried plastic-bottled water to stay hydrated as you drove around

Their factory was not far below where others were releasing your half-treated wastes

You deftly combined stress, overeating, drinking and inactivity for years

Now they turn you carefully twice a day like some fat and overcooked bratwurst

You drank yourself into a stupor upon every possible occasion

All of that lost time now just makes your too-brief life seem even shorter

You stuck to mouthing the core values of voters targeted by your financial backers

Gridlock, bad planning, fiscal immaturity and arrogance is your legacy

Your knowledge of sports and entertainment was both wide and deep

It dispassionately evaporated like the water in your tissues upon your demise

You smirked and shook your head over those ignorant, poverty-stricken lands

Now your boomerang children hear they have steady jobs, good housing and even buy new cars

You met your retirement head on just like all the challenges you had faced

You collapsed on the 5^th fairway in a lime green shirt and funny white shoes after 8 months

You leveraged a second home for family gatherings in some toney region

You visited maybe three times and they sold it off just as soon as you died

You felt safe in your monster truck the size of a Russian family apartment

You hurt your knee because it was unsuitable for carrying a few groceries

You made your own rules with guns, knives, fists and your powerful muscles

You finally took your own life soaking in your stale and smelly piss in a wheelchair

You were aggressively noisy, proudly ignorant and fiercely independent

Your back and your hemorrhoids brought you to welfare and Medicaid

You ate nothing but pre-prepared corporate food, often for days at a time

Now you live large under the hot lights of the earlybird cafeteria specials

You sold your vote to the most attractively packaged puppet that was dangled

You’re angry at somebody because your debt just grows and the job you just lost was shit

Cheap illegales worked quietly inside and outside of your oversized trophy home

Now their foreign tongue is everywhere and they vow to re-take your land

You blew off school and took up some now-forgotten extreme sport and old video games

Now you think maybe some kind of sales job might just work for you

You bravely rode looking tough without a helmet and your lip curled up in a Harley sneer

You breathe, eat, shit and piss through tubes and you can’t move a single muscle

You gave in to their every whim in hopes that they would always be your friends

They lay near half-eaten snacks on your couch greasy, tattooed and pierced

You got a good job cutting down the old forest and said, well, fuck them tourists, anyway

Now the big trees are all gone and no visitors ever come and you have no job

You followed leaders who relied on faith in god tempered with a studied ignorance

Their colossal blunders have sacrificed your future and forfeited your morality

Growing Younger Every Day

To preserve the loveliness of your once-bonnie brown hair

          you dyed it a color that nature never knew

To restore your lovely figure

          you spent thousands on surgery that quickly proved worthless

To combat the wrinkles, without success

          you smeared on expensive creams and got botoxed as well

To renew the vigor you only imagined you once knew

          you swallowed many costly, yet unproven supplements

To mitigate your unwanted increase in maturity

          you piled on the large and expensive gold jewelry

To remain attractive and appealing within the confines of your mind

          you financed new, fancier cars as often as possible

To try and become sleek and fit and to lose the guilt from your awful diet

      You drove twice a week to spend 20 minutes watching TV strolling on a treadmill

To weigh little more than you did as a teen seemed like a great triumph

          Ignoring the fact that wrinkled fat is far bulkier than lean muscle

To combat your ever-lightening skin

          you sought out the sun and attained that leathery, reptilian look

To watch your weight and retain your appeal

          you exposed every bone in your anorexic face

To compensate for the diets which quite utterly failed

          your forced your hair to grow bigger, stiffened up with industrial gel

To keep pace with your rapidly fading sense of smell

          you sprayed on ever more sickeningly sweet but costly perfume

To realize the full creative human potential locked there within you

          you took a six week self-renewal course and went on a few horseback rides

To renew your attractiveness after being dumped and rejected

          you joined a gym and lost 10 pounds til you found another chump

To try and hide the wrinkles, the sags and your bags

          you troweled on many coats of concrete-like beauty plaster

To keep from having to face the void that so clearly beckoned

          you learned to cope by blankly flipping channels

To have it all you burned both ends as you stewed in the middle

          your were worn out too soon and then dried up way too fast

In A Heartbeat, If I Could Just...

Someday I’m going to really live like that music sometimes makes me feel

After a couple years I won’t have to listen to their whiny bullshit anymore

Pretty soon I won’t have to see any of these clowns here again

Just a little while and I’ll be out of here for good

Before you know it, I’ll have all the time in the world

In a heartbeat I would blow this pop stand off, for once and for all

Someday I’ll stay at that place I still remember from in my rear-view mirror

After a couple years every day will be just like Saturday for you and me

Pretty soon I’m gonna drive off in a big old brand new pickup truck

Just a little while and we’ll be doing all the stuff like they do in the movies

Before you know it we’ll beat these old timesheets into funny postcards

In a heartbeat I could pack it in for them parts still unknown

Someday I will take the time to stay a few more days

After a couple years we’ll be off somewhere chasing red Indian sunsets

Pretty soon we can sell this tired old house and retire in real style

Just a little while and we’ll make it to the top of the hill

Before you know it we’ll spend the entire autumn simply watching changing leaves

In a heartbeat, if I could just pay off a few more of these crazy healthcare debts

Someday we won’t just be acting, like we do now, every weekend

After a couple years they’ll see that I really wasn’t just like them

Pretty soon I won’t be all pissed off just because it’s Monday

Just a little while longer and I’m going to walk away from it all

Before you know it we’ll be relaxing together on some white and sandy beach

In a heartbeat I would tell them all to take a hike and ride on out

Someday I’ll have the time to read that stuff I keep on blowing off

After a couple years we won’t even bother to watch TV every single night

Pretty soon we’ll be staying home to avoid the weekend crowds

Just a little while and, Hey listen, I swear, we won’t be too old to enjoy it

Before you know it my dumbass boss will be a just a funny memory

In a heartbeat if only the cars and house didn’t cost so much, each & every month

Someday we’ll sip margaritas every afternoon in the shade of a nice palapa

After a couple years we’ll go on that trek up and through the Nepal Himalaya

Pretty soon the kids will be gone and we can start to travel

Just a little while and I’ll retire and write down the wisdom I distilled from all this bullshit

Before you know it we’ll spend nights in the smoke of the magic campfire

In a heartbeat I could give it up and sell hot dogs at the beach

Someday we’ll blow off health insurance even though we’re a little fat

After a couple years, if things get better, we should be able to retire

Pretty soon your flawed project’s artificial deadline won’t mean Jack to me

Just a little while and me and the Marlboro Man will be out riding on the range

Before you know it I’ll be on to more important things than this

In a heartbeat if I could just hit it right on a couple of quick day trades

Someday soon I’ll chuck all this shit and go off to work for myself

After a couple years it looks like the end should be coming into sight

Pretty soon I won’t find that I’m mad about something stupid all the time

Just a little while longer and there won’t be any more of that boring housework

Before you know it we’ll just be in them commuter’s way as we take off on our next vacation

In a heartbeat I’d walk away from all my MP3s and the big-screen TV

Someday soon I’ll get a break and we’ll roll in style on out to Vegas

After only a couple years I should begin to see a little daylight

Pretty soon all my money won’t be going up in smoke and interest charges

Just a little while and my fat pension might actually kick in

Before you know it we’ll quit working and stop getting any older

In a heartbeat I’d blow off this mess and go away to live like Jesus

Someday we won’t just have to worry about money all the time

After only a couple more years our time is going to come at last

Pretty soon I won’t have to listen all day long to morons on the phone

Just a little while til we ride away in our brand new RV for good

Before you know it we’ll hear the ocean from our hammocks every night

In a heartbeat if we could just find a way to get past this and that

Someday I won’t just be trying to get through another week once again

After a couple years I’m thinking we won’t spend so much time at the malls

Pretty soon now we won’t be so damn tired we cannot see by Wednesday night

Just a little while before we can start to live for whatever things might still really matter

Before you know it, we can start to spend all this time that we’ve been saving every day

In a heartbeat I’d tear up my damn credit cards and burn down the house

Someday we’ll have lots of money and we won’t have to work anymore

After a couple more years we’ll have a little time just to set and think things over

Pretty soon we’ll pack up our reading glasses, prescription drugs and go

Just a little while and we will stand aside and laugh at all the rodents

Before you know it, why, we’ll have time to just wait until the light is right for the picture

In a heartbeat but I got this deadline and we just re-financed the house for Jason’s college