Planned Departures

        Globally, Over 1 million people a year die by suicide - WHO

He punched the cruise control, undid his safety belt and aimed for the tree

          He lived several moments, merged with the wreckage and branches

The car idled in the garage, a hose running from its exhaust into the window

          The CD changer played on and the dead man spilled a bit of red wine

The shotgun he had fired with his toes lay near his crumpled torso

          The inside of his head splattered and misted the wall behind him

The last step took him over the cliff and the acceleration energized him

          Fully awake hitting the rocks he never made another movement

He beat his wife, finished the case of beer and then called the police

          He threatened them with his empty shotgun until they riddled him with bullets

He saved up his pain meds, though he suffered, yet he remained quite silent

          One evening he took them all and drowned quietly in his own vomit

After drinking for hours they roared off upon their powerful new jet skis

          The force of their impact killed him even before his friend drowned

He overate and then smoked, drank heavily and laid about for many years

          The crushing pain in his chest came one day, like a prize in the mail

She lay in the now cold bathtub water stained pink with her blood

          Her wrists were neatly slashed and her shapely legs were nicely shaved

She said her goodbyes to each of the family as they gathered all around her

         She willed herself to be gone and simply ended the pain and the weakness

He was strapped into the explosives through a mumbling of prayers and praise

          After the Mullah triggered his flight by cell phone, his family celebrated

Lost in a stoned depression his subconscious purposely ignored a dump truck

          His shabby little car was crushed as it ground him into a juicy pulp

Left for another, she shortly stepped off the platform just in front of a train

          There was not much left to clean up and the funeral was very small

Sealing dry cleaning bags over his head, he sat quietly and turned quite blue

          Condensation had formed by the time his youngest child entered the room

With a noose round his neck attached to the ceiling he kicked away the chair

          He struggled gagging in the air for a five minute eternity

He strapped on a great rock, tied up his hands, then jumped into the water

          he took a breath at ten feet, choked and inhaled but one more time

She overdosed not quite on purpose but surely not purely by accident

          The attendants discussed the fine augmentation work done on her breasts

Fortified with a quart of vodka, he vowed to end this Winter in the snow

          He was not cold for long and soon he fell asleep and did not awaken

Poised high over the bay with a strong tide rushing out far below, he leaped

          Crabs, mollusks and scavenging fish cleaned him up pretty quickly

Unable to stand his continuing success, he put his small plane into a tail spin

          I read that he was a good pilot on a clear day, without mechanical issues

Facing life with no possibility of parole he dissed the leader of the blacks

          One day later they knifed him to ribbons underneath the showers

Depressed over a lack of attention, her suicide attempts kept her alive

          As a fatal overdose overtook her, she realized her mistake

Strung out on the last of his crank he began to mix another batch

          The explosion and fire burnt his toothless face beyond all recognition

Flushed with an early success the guitarist bought his first new motorcycle

          His long golden hair was matted with the contents of his skull

At midnight of the shortest day the medicine man finished his great circle

          His people evinced little sadness as he was now with their ancestors

Far from any trail he found a spot beneath a spruce facing south with a grand view

          He took the pills and waited for the crows, hoping never to be found

Exceptionist Just Desserts

You drove in air-conditioned comfort on even the shortest of unnecessary errands

The toilet in your tiny nursing home room has become an impossible destination

You lamented that the big box chinese stores were all so far away

Now you are so lucky with a super WalMart right next to your house

You ate as much as you wanted of all the wrong foods for too many years

Finished that up without any insurance for your multiple medical conditions

The brave accomplished your mission and you had a great photo op

But the media conspirators followed that up with cruel ongoing coverage of the thousands of dead

It was so hard back then without any fast food drive-thru places

Now I can grab a quik lunch to eat in the car on my way to my next showing

You re-financed and took equity for great vacations on your credit card

Your house is worth less than you owe but your payments keep going up

You kept rolling newer cars into more expensive leases just to drive to work

Laid off and unemployable it’s funny how you can’t even sell that POS

You often wondered why your mother was bitter and angry on your visits

Now you sit in a drugged silence between institutional meals with soap operas droning

You kept your waterfront lawn green with fertilizers and pesticides

You were outraged as the fish all died when the poisoned water turned into algae soup

You put your complete faith and trust in private dialog with your personal savior

You thought you ascended safely to heaven, never glimpsing the empty truth

You spent hundreds monthly on creams, supplements and rejuvenators

Fashionistas take your foolish measure with half a glance then simply ignore you

You always carried plastic-bottled water to stay hydrated as you drove around

Their factory was not far below where others were releasing your half-treated wastes

You deftly combined stress, overeating, drinking and inactivity for years

Now they turn you carefully twice a day like some fat and overcooked bratwurst

You drank yourself into a stupor upon every possible occasion

All of that lost time now just makes your too-brief life seem even shorter

You stuck to mouthing the core values of voters targeted by your financial backers

Gridlock, bad planning, fiscal immaturity and arrogance is your legacy

Your knowledge of sports and entertainment was both wide and deep

It dispassionately evaporated like the water in your tissues upon your demise

You smirked and shook your head over those ignorant, poverty-stricken lands

Now your boomerang children hear they have steady jobs, good housing and even buy new cars

You met your retirement head on just like all the challenges you had faced

You collapsed on the 5^th fairway in a lime green shirt and funny white shoes after 8 months

You leveraged a second home for family gatherings in some toney region

You visited maybe three times and they sold it off just as soon as you died

You felt safe in your monster truck the size of a Russian family apartment

You hurt your knee because it was unsuitable for carrying a few groceries

You made your own rules with guns, knives, fists and your powerful muscles

You finally took your own life soaking in your stale and smelly piss in a wheelchair

You were aggressively noisy, proudly ignorant and fiercely independent

Your back and your hemorrhoids brought you to welfare and Medicaid

You ate nothing but pre-prepared corporate food, often for days at a time

Now you live large under the hot lights of the earlybird cafeteria specials

You sold your vote to the most attractively packaged puppet that was dangled

You’re angry at somebody because your debt just grows and the job you just lost was shit

Cheap illegales worked quietly inside and outside of your oversized trophy home

Now their foreign tongue is everywhere and they vow to re-take your land

You blew off school and took up some now-forgotten extreme sport and old video games

Now you think maybe some kind of sales job might just work for you

You bravely rode looking tough without a helmet and your lip curled up in a Harley sneer

You breathe, eat, shit and piss through tubes and you can’t move a single muscle

You gave in to their every whim in hopes that they would always be your friends

They lay near half-eaten snacks on your couch greasy, tattooed and pierced

You got a good job cutting down the old forest and said, well, fuck them tourists, anyway

Now the big trees are all gone and no visitors ever come and you have no job

You followed leaders who relied on faith in god tempered with a studied ignorance

Their colossal blunders have sacrificed your future and forfeited your morality

In His Image

The hare-lipped                                       The stillborn

The club-footed                                       The myopically near-sighted

The walleyed                                           The retarded

Those with heart murmurs                      Those with Spina Bifida

The juvenile diabetic                               The hereditarily obese

Those born addicted                                Those without limbs

The dwarfed                                             The congenitally angry

The truly ugly                                          The stone deaf

The scarred                                              The pink-eyed albino

The hermaphrodite                                  The cross-eyed

The miscarried                                        The breech birthed

Those with Down’s Syndrome               Those strangled by their cords

The very mute                                         The dead twin

The Idiot Savant                                     The unwanted

The sterile                                               The illegitimate

Those with dead mothers                        Those with infantile paralysis

The bleeders                                            The fetally undernourished

Those expelled by a kick to the groin     Those larger than the birth canal

Those with cleft palates                          Those full of lead and mercury

The heart murmurers                              The aborted

Those born of rape                                  Those without immune systems

The unresponsive                                    The fish-fingered

The mutant doomed                                The lactose intolerant

The autistic                                             The oxygen starved

The pre-natally infected                          The hopelessly premature

Those born to children                            Those born to prisoners

The very frail                                           The infant cancer victims

Those quickly perishing from unknown causes     Those born without fathers

The unknowingly blind                           The chronically normal

Just A Small Turtle

From "The Lives of the Reptilian Saints"

I saw a small box turtle

          next to the roadway,

emerging from the bushes

           he stuck out his neck

And the commuter traffic roared by

           not slowing down a bit

Just a small turtle, all alone on his way,

          why must he cross? What does he seek?

As humans fly by, encased in their cars, as he in his shell

          millions of years of survival never trained him for this

He ducks in his head at the massive vibration of a semi

          Its wheels rumble close and a dark shadow blasts overhead

Without a movement he feels hidden upon the yellow centerline

          Then cautiously extends just the tip of his nose

Women pass by too closely, oblivious on their cellphones

          Brave men in pickups consider swerving over top this little thing

Many minutes pass until he reaches the very crown of the highway

          Just a small turtle with a very short life, and certainly no soul

I barely recognize him as I pass by lost in my AM fog

          But somewhere inside me his small struggle evokes a long-lost pathos

I keep on driving but my thoughts focus and remain

          I slow down and turn round to return and help him cross

My thoughts are lifted, for once, on the way to some lackluster work

          Perhaps one small deed can really begin a larger change

Only a moment too late do I return to the scene

          For though not yet dried, he has re-entered the eternal void

Just one very small turtle crossing our busy highway

          Just one more small accident on the road to my personal perdition.

Lines From Our Obituaries

Among his hobbies were going out to eat and watching NASCAR races

She always coordinated her pre-planned outfits with utmost care

He had an impressive collection of pornographic websites saved on computer

She cooked them delicious meals using canned and pre-packaged ingredients

He enjoyed driving his loud pickup truck with its expensive custom mufflers

She drove safely while talking on her cellphone and sipping expensive lattes

He spoke with Jesus regularly after the deep shock of his mid-life coronary

She was serious about watching every single episode of all her favorite TV shows

His own opinions were often voiced by others on television, the internet and radio

Vacation planning was an important aspect of her life satisfaction

They enjoyed discussing sports and movies with him after boring meetings

All her trash was always tied up neatly inside of shiny plastic bags

He owned several weapons which he enjoyed firing in his spare time

Her granddaughter was a single mother before her grandma was 45

He only drank to excess on the weekends and missed very little work

She put 15000 miles a year on an SUV that never left their town

He was a valued patron of the gaming industry and nearly a poker expert

She was on a gossiping first name basis with the stars in all her magazines

His yard was always cut short and quite green and his garage was very clean

She was so attractive that she remained a hooker until well after turning 40

His knowledge of beer commercials was impressively encyclopedic

She was ever feisty despite her emphysema, diabetes and obesity

He pursued a career in drug addiction and did graduate work in prison

She worked full-time and raised children with absolutely equal attention to both

He drove heavy equipment and found it unnecessary to ever read

She was a professional real estate agent who made friends very quickly

He had no patience with those worn-out, liberal cowards who live in France

She supported our troops and hoped they all came back safe and sound

He rolled his credit card debt into his home mortgage on three occasions

She decorated every year for each season and every holiday

He had a healthy mistrust of fuzzy thinkers such as scientists

She always kept her hair dyed right down to the roots

He took his wife to Las Vegas for that very special 25^th anniversary

She never drove around the town with her car windows down

In his mind, he carried his excess weight like so much powerful muscle

She was proud of her gifted children and kept them strictly to their meds

He brought them the latest home entertainment he had bought on shaky credit

She got a part-time MBA and was quickly advanced to middle management

He financed a loud Harley and dressed up expensively for short rides on Saturdays

She tried to banish her cellulite with the various creams she saw on TV

He was never observed to simply be out walking - Anywhere, anytime

She eased the suffering of menopause with alcohol, pills and bitchiness

He began saving for retirement around age 55, but the economy then went south

Her friends all said she was a wonderful home entertainer

Despised by subordinates, dismissed by superiors, he was quite irrelevant at home

She tried hard to visit her Mom at the nursing home at least once a month

He loved the outdoors and drank beer there as often as he could

She learned to cook her own Meth in the kitchen of their apartment

As a high-powered sales executive he put his people skills to good use

Sometimes she power-walked for up to 20 minutes after lunch

When he went on vacation, people often thought that he must be quite well off

She fed the birds and squirrels as she poisoned the ants and wasps

He cut to the chase, stayed on message and met the bottom line at the end of the day

She believed in women’s rights and liked it when men held the door for her

He worked with great loyalty and they downsized him without a second thought

She delighted in tormenting her Ex for years after he unceremoniously kicked her to the curb

He honestly did not know the tired man staring at him from the mirror

She had a white, fuzzy, little dog that she talked to like a baby

He often had a strong urge to beat someone to death with his soft bare hands

She spent time in tanning booths because she felt that she was worth it

His barbecue grill cost $1500 and he had a little fridge out there as well

Her jewelry always drew stares of admiration from those in the know

He belonged to that proud fraternity of injured former would-be athletes

She quickly lost 15 lbs and bought stylish new clothes after her divorce

His friends down at the tavern always cashed his check for him on Fridays

She killed germs ruthlessly with the newest anti-bacterial cleanser available

His son once stole his credit card number and bought videogames on the internet

She tried volunteer work but those people did not appreciate her efforts

He tossed his burning cigarette butts aside wherever he might finish them

She spent hundreds a month on high-fat, low-fiber, packaged factory family foods

He sneered at the fool recyclers, tree huggers and energy conservationists

She found a secure job and caged the system for many unproductive years

His goal was to always keep the bed of his pickup truck very clean and empty

She enjoyed the little treat of having her nails done once a week

He always had the time to leer as the young secretaries passed on by

She braided her grey hair, wore Indian turquoise and smoked menthol cigarettes

He was nearly overcome by road rage on several different occasions

She noted happily that she did not grow old as did all her contemporaries

He believed the government should step aside and let him run his business

She devoured countless mystery and romance novels in her bathtub        

Though his eyesight and wind failed him, he never lost his badboy attitude

She survived her husband and got by alone for nearly twenty years

His self-esteem was low as he was but a weak and reviled high school teacher

She trained as a nurse to help others but burned out in a hurry

His great sensitivity denied him success in the Darwinian office arena

She dispensed spontaneously-generated  opinions freely on all manner of subjects

Violence, porn, beer, food and loud noises were the real joys of his life

She adopted each passing new-age fad as a singularly life-changing event

His behavior became more saint-like in proportion to the malignancy of his prostate

She loved baby animals and prepared delicious veal cutlets for her children

He looked forward to retirement and died 15 months thereafter

She clung grimly on to life and, in the end, it cost a cool half a million

He said that we should just level their useless countries with our nuclear weapons

She knew nothing and no one for the last three years of her life

He was taken in mid-flight on a journey he had never planned or reviewed

Her implants still looked good as ever even as they were embalming her

He desperately sought their unearned forgiveness for his abuse, anger and absence

She left behind thousands of cherished knick-knacks that they quickly threw away

His job was sent overseas, they canceled his retirement plan and so he defaulted on his debts

She spoke often of her money problems but saved until the day she died

He mixed business with pleasure until the concoction blew up in his face

She showed the children pictures from their shared past that they could not recall

All his long experience and hard-earned wisdom were totally ignored as pathetically irrelevant

Her old and faded pictures might have been of a woman of great beauty and grace

He built a huge second home as a place where he would try and bring the family together

Sometimes she found herself in tears for no apparent reason

He loved to get behind the wheel where he took control in heavy traffic

She had no desire to be rich or famous and in that she succeeded fully

His former colleagues still mention him every now and then at work

She filled them up with unavoidable guilt during each of their numerous visits

He certainly was not one to try to do more using less

She proudly displayed a knife wound sustained in a bar fight

His service in Vietnam provided a basis for guilt-free and lifelong dependency issues

She ignored livestock manufacturing conditions and shopped family meat on price alone

He shared a pro sports championship along with other loyal fans one year

She said she felt safer riding high in an SUV on the way to the grocery store

He adhered to a strict regimen of alcohol, tobacco, a poor diet and never exercised

She spent thousands on cosmetic surgery and wound up looking like a zombie

He could compare vehicle horsepower over many model years from memory

Her ankles gradually swelled as her obesity worsened her circulation

He often observed wryly to his fellows that when you are dead that you are dead

She knew in her heart of hearts that she was not descended from some ape

The Plague That Took Us

It killed not just living creatures but harmed the very earth that spawned it

          It fouled the blue waters and sullied the clear blue atmosphere

It destroyed many of the ancient microbe communities deep within the soil

          Its poisons spread evenly all throughout the vast planetary ocean

Many plants and animals species were totally extinguished

          Rats, roaches, weeds, flies and dirty pond scum prospered in its wake

Vast tracts of ancient forests, both tropical and boreal, simply disappeared

          It clearcut the valleys and rained thick silt that choked the life from the rivers

It grew in speed and power as it spread and multiplied

          Smoke and noxious gases blocked the sun wherever it was concentrated

Wandering fishes of the wide seas did not escape its deadly influence

          Evidence of its presence rained down to the deepest ocean trenches

Its burrowing unleashed sequestered toxic metals into pristine mountain streams

          Diverse plains were reduced to vast & sterile, monocropped factory wastelands

It ignited wood, coal, petroleum and natural gas immediately upon their polluting extraction

          The wastes from these activities ensured that little could return

It shattered the biospheric web without malice, foresight, understanding or regret

          Its simple movements alone became synonymous with habitat destruction

Evidence of its presence was visible to those orbiting in space

          It could even bring on global climate change with its vast toxic emissions

Sometimes it killed on purpose, more often, blindly, via simple collateral damage

          It ended great migrations and blocked the ancient spawning runs

It leveled mountains and dammed rivers, melted glaciers and turned the rain to acid

          It altered precipitation patterns, global winds and the ocean’s circulation

The world’s precious little fresh waters carried off the burden of its toxic runoff

          It joined meteors and volcanoes in producing a global mass extinction

The overwhelming noise of its progress filled land and sky and sea

          Its emissions changed the sunsets and its light even hid the very stars

Strangely it always sought out and killed vast numbers of its own kind

          There were parasites and viruses its habits raised against it as well

It even managed to spread into the atmosphere as far out as the moon

          In inhospitable environments it carried its own sustenance and protection

Often its effects were so destructive that this plague itself could not remain

          A savagely virulent minority were like the tyrant queens of drone honey bees

Little remained after its passing as it often spoiled what it could not use

          It arose so very quickly that many other species could not co-evolve

It was as if the life force experimented using entropy upon its own creations

          Even its closely related genetic cousins were not spared its savage attack

It burrowed in the earth, sped across the ground and flew through the sky

          It showed remarkable resilience despite incessant intra-species slaughter

It seamlessly integrated violence into nearly all of its behaviors

          Its activities managed to alter the planet’s carbon, nitrogen and hydrologic cycles

It wiped out entire symbiotic communities by targeting a single species

          Spreading invasive weeds sprang up to replace wild flowers in the shadow of its passing

It spread across the nurturing earth like a hideous mold on an agar plate

          Fires, explosions & smoke seemed to be by-products of its very respirations

Even ancient reptiles and amphibians perished in a geological instant

          But, many insects & microbes survived its onslaught and even preyed upon it

It could live in its wastes on dirty water and seemed content in its own fouled air

          It altered its own evolution by absorbing the radiation and mutagenic chemicals it released

Just the spreading runoff from its actions often crippled distant life forms

          It melted glaciers, expanded deserts and increased UV penetration

It metastasized in unplanned, cancer-like nodes nurtured by devastating supply vessels

          The tentacles between its colonies radiated destruction on all sides

Its success seemed to lie in its complete disregard for its own survival

          Its unconsciously generated diverse forms of emergent destruction

More powerful than a disease, its effects were like those of a geologic force

          Its behavior exhibited no discernible purpose, rhyme or reason

But when its resources were depleted, it disappeared as quickly as it came

          And after several hundred million years naught but a plastic trace of it remained

Nothing Can Do All Of This

        Everything in the universe comes out of Nothing – Tao Te Ching     
          nothing can prepare you for the afterlife among the stars

nothing can make you understand the meaning of a billion years

nothing can change the speed with which you return to cosmic dust

          nothing can teach you more than you knew when you were born

          nothing can only calm you if you ignore nothing at all

nothing can stop the decay that is your sacred birthright

nothing can defeat you even though there will never be a battle

          nothing can persuade you more completely than nothing at all

          nothing can hide you if there is nothing left of you to see

nothing can protect you since you remain here quite willfully

nothing can be part of you before well you learn to think

          nothing can hurt you if you hold on to it too tightly

          nothing can be forgotten until it is finally time to go

nothing easily assumes the place of everything you know

nothing can disappoint you when you still have expectations

          nothing can satisfy you given enough time and distance

          nothing can convince you that you have had too much

nothing can destroy you before you understand

nothing can identify you from the other faces in the crowd

          nothing can hypnotize you if you look it in the eyes

          nothing can delay you when you are in a hurry

nothing can be left alone if you really think about it

nothing can feel the same once you have it realized

          nothing can spoil the dreams of even the evangelical

          nothing can escape even the keenest of vision

nothing can evade the collective wisdom of the tribe

nothing can ignore the strength of our beliefs

          nothing can help you in your lonely vision quest

          nothing can relieve all of this earthly suffering

nothing can be counted on to be there in the end

nothing can reveal that for which we seek

          nothing can remove the sin they say emerged with birth

          nothing can cleanse us after all the sins of our lives

nothing can console us once we have lost it all

nothing can please those which nothing satisfies

          nothing can change our lives if we simply recognize it

Not Going To Make It

there are times when I realize that I’m actually not going to make it

          in the afternoon when it is quiet, save for the ticking of a clock

then it’s twenty years ago or twenty years from now, but it is all the same

          and I’ll be gone for a long time, quite soon, in the larger scheme of things

the sun is shining across the mountains and on down into the room

          and things just pause a moment as I work upon my knees

I know for sure just then that I am not really going to make it

          and although I might shed a tear, it’s not for the fear, but for its beauty

in those unexpected times when we pause within a short reflection

          we sometimes catch a glimpse of, as far as we can see

then I saw myself as if it were from a different point in time

          I saw again the boy, this man thought was gone so long ago, elated

and in that same moment the sunset gently faded

          as the man now weak and old tried to remember from where he came

then I knew with certainty that I was not going to make it

          but still, time had passed me by quite slowly and left a quiet comfort

while the measured clock ticks guide the afternoon sun across the room

          I have nothing left to say, save a long and drawn out sigh

though there are many times that this illusion still vibrates complete

          far stronger are the moments when the real light shows me the way

in between the ordinary and the things which change our lives

          flows a deeper river that we must ford from time to time

as we stretch our legs to start upon another journey

          the shadow of the hand of time momentarily sweeps across us

so what time have we really saved even as we count it and where is it even now

          since in a stream of disjoint instants, we see that we cannot make it

there are those brief and lucid moments when I realize who I am

          a small boy frightened by not remembering never being of this world

slowly do the dust motes float through the slanting sun

          they have always held a place for me in their silent dance 

in between my feeble wheezings there is a parting of the clouds

          and far off in the distance I see clearly that I could never make it

in the quiet stillness that moves in to soothingly surround us

          after all the mundane chatter dies away, then it becomes so clear

in the million years before I came here and in the first million next to come

          I see that even those times are lost in the billions piled up on either side

as I realize that the sun never really pauses in my little room

          so I note with some sadness that there is also nothing I can stop and hold

What Would You Do

What would you do if you learned it would only be a year

          Could you do everything and then sum it all up, if it were so very near

What if right now you knew you had to leave in just 30 days

        How much would you try to experience and what goals would you raise

Would you find something different in the beauty of every sunrise

          Would you note all the last times like each was good for a prize

Could you possibly place everything in order and be prepared to unwind

          Perhaps you might simply determine to fight and to somehow survive

Suppose that you were convinced you would be dead by tomorrow

          If the colors seemed so much brighter, would that be simply from sorrow

Should you rush about trying to do all the things you had promised

         Or maybe spend time dwelling on something you knew you had missed

Would you consider their memories of you and try to change their tone

          Would you bother to get rid of those many things you still own

Consider that the plane is falling straight down and gathering speed

          How could you prepare yourself in that awful panic, terror and need

How much time would you ask for, if it were forced to be decided

          At that crucial moment, by what principles would you be guided

Would you even bother to watch your beloved TV anymore

          Would you pray for salvation or consider the void as never before

Who would you contact and what might you say

          What affairs would you attend to and which ones would you let lay

What should you do about your children’s future

          How might your spouse do without you to help and to script her

Would you sadly realize that you had wasted so much time

          Would you mainly miss daily actions of the most ordinary kind

Are there those you would tell the things to, that you have always known

          Would you expire inside or outside, far away, or in your own home

Would you keep on working until they carried you away

          Could you remain quiet or would you tell anyone who would stay

Would you turn to religion and let faith be your true guide

          Would you just end it all early and leave the priests feeling denied

Should your family interrupt their lives as you are expiring

          How could they understand the way your neurons are rewiring

Does it make sense to ease your anguish with pain medication and religion

          Why bother to keep up with your physical education

In this strange light, what message would you prepare for your children

          Should you spend money furiously on dreams to try and fulfill them

Would you sleep dark nights through or lie awake counting every moment

          Could you draw any meaning looking back on the blur and the foment

Should you take some time and write out your own obituary

          Does it make sense to fuss around cooking and keep being handy

What activities could possibly sustain you as you counted down to the nil

          Would you donate your organs and finally make out your last will

Would you still strive to keep your lawn well-trimmed and green

          What could you share with your grandson so he would see what you mean

Do you think you could extract some bit of wisdom from where you have been

          If you find ways to maintain will they conflict with what you have seen

What would you do first and what would you try to be doing at the end

          Would you swell hotly with anger and then collapse among friends

Would you choose peaceful narcotic fantasies or the blunt edge of reality

          Could helping others possibly ease the pain of your imminent fatality

Could you consider the fate of everything that you have been taught

          Could you conceive of a universe completely devoid of your own thought

Would you be able to draw any real satisfaction from your old recreations

          Would it help those you hurt if, near the end, you had some revelation

What would you choose to be the last thing that you say

          Who would you have stand by you as you finally slip away

What would you do if you had only a few short years left on this earth

        And how would you react if that time began the instant of your birth

Dozing There Forever In A Single Blink Of Time

silver-haired blind man in a checkered flannel shirt strokes a purring calico tomcat

          both comfortable with that black wool blanket covering his lap

purring calico tomcat soothes the man's rough and work-hardened hands

          as he weighs the value of his long ago against the shortly sure to come

blind man feels the sun through the open window on his craggy face and smiles

          rumbling calico tomcat shifts and switches purring gears

they both enjoy the silence, the peace and tranquility

          they seem so safely anchored in this place and time

clouds but then just passing, stir the petals of a red tulip

          blind man emits a sigh, calico cat unruffled continues on his ride

god looks down upon the blind man staring within himself

          god strokes the purring tomcat just behind his ear

behold the ancient blind man with nothing left to fear

          quite content that calico tomcat lies, very still and very near

silver-haired with flaring nostrils, thickened ears and wrinkled skin

          no good no more for working, cannot bring home any pay

calico cat was born to leisure, sleeping twenty hours every day

          blind man can feel his spots with ease due to different temperatures

silver-haired blind man in a checkered shirt, wise old tomcat in his spotted coat

          dozing there forever in a single blink of time

no more howling at the moon, no more gnashing of the teeth

          silver-haired old blind man considers carefully his each and every move

with the cat upon his lap and the flowers in the garden

          blind man in a small room with a window, on a sunny autumn afternoon

                  

with the help of the cat and the ticking of a clock

          he traces out the warm sun's shadow as it moves across his tidy space

Always Here For You, Too

I began my work shortly after the first organisms somehow appeared

          They did not last long and I was here to take them back

I know not from where I spring but my function is to return life to the void

          I travel everywhere that life goes - all those places but nowhere else

Without any feeling I relieve you of your every understanding

          I am not offended if you should not accept me, even in the end

I make no deals and cast no bargains and steal closer every single moment

          I have neither voice nor mercy and lack any mind to understand you

I am not cruel or happy and I merely see you off to a place where I can never go

          You cannot imagine me, you will not remember me and I do not know you

I am neither harsh nor cruel, but you can make of me what you will

          I attend your murders, suicides, plagues and starvation - all just alike

You need not fear me any more than you feared your long forgotten birth

          Horrid suffering and evil torture are not even what I am about

But, as pain and anguish may arrive before me, many welcome me in my time

          Often it appears that I am early, but there cannot ever be a mistake

I come to join you forever more to wherever it was that you once emerged

          Behold, I come to honor only the living and not for stone or water

Though I offer no form of gospel, none will be ignored, faithful or not

          Many seek to look beyond me but that is none of my concern

I spend moments with all the bugs, the birds and the plants as well as you

          I witness the end of every detail of the life force in all of the universe

Whether you pass away in silken sheets or bleeding out in filth, it matters not

          I take you away from all this, ignorant of the promises of your faiths

I always travel with you, but linger not a moment when you are gone

          You pass empty again into that void from which all life has surged

I am but a form emerging from your imagination of that which is beyond you

          I am that passage which rejoins you once again with the inanimate

I do not revel in your mass slaughters, and each and every one still gets their moment

          Famine, plague and war summon me to many places, all at once

I am universal and have been unavoidable ever since the first living cell

          I have no face, but your imaginations have lent me many images

The very fact that I am always there goads many into fevered actions

          Regardless of the acts or players the final scene must be the same

I know nothing of the hopeless struggle in which you so joyfully partake

          But be sure that I, too, should love life, for without it, neither do I exist

I have spawned the faith which quiets your lonely desperation

          Truth be told, you need no faith to draw strength from my absolute certainty

I mark the entropy which must always counter the organization of the life force

          When I began and my ultimate future are questions I cannot ask        

All your gods demand belief that will ensure your spirit survives your body

          any post-mortem accounting of such faiths do not affect my actions

I am not alive and I have no soul or consciousness but I am only for the living

          They represent me with skulls but these are as simple stones to me

I can know nothing of your actions, history, families or your dearest beliefs

          There is no lingering on my part when once the life has left you

I am a shadow passing at the start of a dreamless sleep from which there is no awakening

          I cannot answer any questions and am unable to foster any illusions

I am here for you, be you rich or poor, ugly or handsome, young or very old

          I will not mock you and I know nothing of so-called good and evil

I walk always in your shadow until that moment in which we are briefly joined

          I promise you nothing except the absolute certainty of our meeting

Some beg for mercy but I have no way of listening or any kind of understanding

          I arrive at the very end of every lifetime and join it for but an instant

I know nothing of saviors, re-incarnation, souls or the great wheel of life

          I do not learn and, for me, time does not exist

I cannot retain any memories, just like you once were and will forever be

          Quantum chance always summons me because nothing is really scripted

Even though you witness me time and again, my mystery always remains

          You understand the biology but the metaphysics will forever remain beyond you