Enjoy Your Squalid Exceptionist Inheritance

Let the children decide...

We leave you our giant and inefficient homes for you to try and keep warm

You can see our gas-guzzling monster vehicles rusting in the junkyards

We offer you the opportunity to find the alternate energy we never sought

Go and mine the landfills for the finite, recyclable resources we so carelessly discarded

We have raised you to be confidently ignorant with a great sense of entitlement

Take these faded pictures of the smog-free Grand Canyon that we once knew

Enjoy the new and better jobs of tomorrow they promised when we were outsourced

Adventure cruise your Arctic now, safely free from icebergs and polar bears

Feel comfortable in the canned environment we built from coast-to-coast

We hope that you can spend some time in all the casino gambling venues we developed

Enjoy the love of loud-proud, petroleum-powered recreation that we instilled in you

Partake with both hands of the rich fast-food and snack heritage we have created

Act upon all those life lessons embedded in the video games you endlessly played

Noisily penetrate your forests now that we have opened them wide to all

Good luck overcoming our self-righteous, go-it-alone international policies

Be careful with the decaying roads, bridges, electrical, water and sewers

Here’s my old Spanish book, the brown majority will applaud your efforts

Keep an eye on this nuclear waste we buried for you and yours to come

Mind our close primate relations whom you will find only as inmates in our zoo prisons

We bequeath you the challenge of securing daily drinking water and firewood, on foot

Remember to decry immoral family planning while continuing to ignore childhood poverty

Use our cloak of Social Darwinism to make the less fit invisible in all their misery

Take over our mighty defense industry and ensure the world continually fights for peace

Just try and surpass our disdain for sustainability and efficiency

Continue industrial torture of soulless cows, pigs and chickens as god bid us to do

Peruse these records showing how cold it was and how much it used to snow

But you won’t have to worry about impotence, even during the great pandemics

Enjoy the persistent poisoned fruits of the grand partnership of chemical giants and agribusiness

No need to thank us for all the marvelous healthcare innovations that you cannot afford

Ppnder our old stories about swimming in blue lakes and clean rivers

Keep our literalist, evangelical beliefs working towards a Traditional Family Values future

Assume this vapid credit card debt we financed our phony lifestyles with for years

Continue demeaning scientists and engineers and don’t bother reading or doing the math

Go off and find yourself in this vast but center-less sprawl that we have created

Take up the mantle of our core values and the clear vision of our moral duties

Enjoy bulldozing all the cheap crap we hastily built as it rapidly decays

Take comfort in our fiction of the patriotic nature of your greed

Continue happily supporting the royal families we have ensconced to govern you

Good luck stumbling upon the environmental catastrophes we are unwittingly creating

Find your individual fulfillment and spiritual awareness among 9 billion others

Be glad that you do not have to worry about species that are already gone

Take the fruits of globalization and enjoy sharing equally in its grinding poverty

Relax and enjoy the relief from manufacturing and engineering leadership

Take up the foolish cycle of poisoning, fertilizing, watering and cutting artificially-green lawns

Try and partake in the benefits of the negative savings rate lifestyle that we pioneered

Continue to nurture that great culture of lobbyists and influence peddlers we built

Adopt our pseudo-scientific, jobs & money, stall tactics on any new regulatory issues

Cherish our god who is love and follow his bidding to spend trillions on national defense

For large sums of money, let industry experts produce government policy

Litter profusely anywhere, without the slightest guilt, based upon our good examples

Perhaps you can store CO2 emissions in the underground aquifers we already emptied

Always rely blindly on technology but disavow junk science for faith-based certainty

Relax and feel safe in the exploitative tourist meccas we created overseas

Experience being in the minority thanks to our love of cheap, illegal labor

Check out the great views where the ash, maples and elms used to grow

Breathe deeply of the mercury and sulphur-laden wastes we left in the air

Like us, barely notice as crime, ignorance and poverty mounts from all sides

Take more tax-deductible ski vacations in fundamentalist church vehicles

Quite easily swallow their latest propaganda thanks to our dumbing-down of your education

Rest easily within that patriotic sense of entitled exceptionism we have instilled within you

Continue blithely ignoring the quiet strangers who clean up all around you

But always remember your Nana as she lay babbling in her own wastes at that shabby nursing home