Last One Liners

Passed away over coffee on vacation down in Flarida

Were killed when the vehicle in which they were riding

Expired at home surrounded by friends and family

Died later upon the operating table

Resuscitation efforts failed after the rescue

Drowned in bed from lung congestion

Found cool and stiff on the couch next morning

Probably never felt a thing

Succumbed to extensive multi-system trauma

Passed away quite suddenly without any prior history

Died at home after suffering long from the illness

Expired on the pavement from excessive blood loss

Mostly women and children killed in a crush at the famous mosque

Was ejected from the vehicle involved in a rollover

Went into shock and never regained consciousness

Choked to death on a food obstruction following a drunken laugh

Sudden onset while doing yard work, earlier this Spring

Inhaled his own vomit which stopped effective breathing

Darted out in front of a slowly passing car

Taken ill at a family gathering

Hemorrhaged rapidly from a burst aneurysm

Expired alone of unknown causes

Passed away at Good Faith Hospice

Pronounced dead below the embankment

Suffered a coronary during a morning swim

Dozed off and struck a large oak tree

Died from a previously undiagnosed allergy

Ruled an accidental overdose

Became the latest victim of the outbreak

pronounced dead by officials at the scene

expired later from several gunshot wounds

perished in her crib from unknown causes

collapsed and never said another word

struck by a vehicle turning in front of his motorcycle

investigators said alcohol may have been involved

stabbed repeatedly at a holiday gathering

beaten to death outside a liquor store

shot in an apparent robbery attempt

killed in a dispute over a drug deal gone bad

failed to negotiate the curve

names were not released pending notification of kin

conveyed to police Sunday at approximately 3:00 AM

reportedly the victim struck his head

listed officially as Dead Upon Arrival

honored an Advance Directive to withhold any treatment

recovered his body at a depth of approximately ten feet

forced to euthanize the victim’s over-protective dog

driver of the semi was cited for improper equipment

confirmed the killing of the US diplomat

showed signs of an extra-judicial execution

autopsy confirmed she died of strangulation

opened fire at a checkpoint and killed at least sixteen

suspected suicide bomb exploded outside the luxury hotel

One villager was killed and 10 others wounded by grenades

savaged her in a cheap blanket after she was strangled

both murder suspects were wounded and later captured

found unconscious in the apartment and later charged in her death

cause was believed to be a massive heart attack

have been publicly hanged where the bombings took place

suffered from high blood pressure, diabetes and chronic emphysema

cause of death not listed, pending a coroner’s report

following unrest six weeks ago

showed grainy images of the beheading

slaughtered thousands when the disease was confirmed

began again with acute chest pain triggered by chronic stress

died when a hospital lacked the supplies to treat him